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Chance Friend vs. Marco Borrillo
U2200 RR Group
2007 US Open Table Tennis Tournament
July 4-7, 2007 - Las Vegas, NV
Hilton Las Vegas Convention Center
Chance Friend's backhand spin
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Marco Borrillo's serve |
Chance's mother - Cheryl
http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?msg=25040.10&nav=messages&webtag=ab-tabletennis#a10
Marco writes:
...
Anyway, I played well in the U-2200 today, but didn't beat anyone. I played a 2000 guy and took him to 5 but lost. There was some clapping and I didn't let it get to me.
Then I had to play a kid named Chance Friend or something like that. The kid was very nice but his mother was there and she was very vocal. I stayed with my concentration. But the kid is really good. He was the A player in the group. I played a tight first game but lost. The second game was also tight. But the mother was talking to him inbetween points. I said to the mother "hey, I didn't know this was a doubles match." Implying that I'm having to play both her and her son. She became very aggressive, and said that my serve was illegal. Now that is just BS, I serve extremely legal, maybe TOO legal as my serves aren't very effective except for people under 1800. So we had some words, and I lost my temper. I told her to go F herself. Then I defaulted the rest of the match. I did apologize to her son.
Apparently, I still need to increase my mental toughness so as not to get aggravated in matches when conditions are less than perfectly friendly.
Marco
Pongiste responds:
Yes, those "Friends" can be pretty annoying (and they're definitely not Asian, so at least you've learned something about the limits of stereotyping). But not worth losing one's temper and defaulting the match. Asking for an umpire would have been more appropriate.
Papilloncito adds:
That young guy from Texas,Chance Friend is a good player,and for you to have lost two close tight games speaks good about your game. It's hard to watch our kids play matches,because somehow we become like the mother bear and are protecting them,but some of the things parents do are uncalled for... It looks like at least you are going to get over it,and go about your business in Vegas.
Good luck the rest of the way.
Papilloncito
Bes Saulter continues:
Marco,
Chance is indeed a very good player. For the record, his mother has never
been anything but nice at any of the tournaments I've seen them at... I've
never seen her coach during a match, but who knows what happens in Vegas!
You seem to have some sort of bizarre knack for bringing out the best in
folks...
Playing two close games with Chance is impressive. He moves well, and can
loop almost anything. If he ever gets his short game tightened up, he'll
surely jump to 2200+.
I'm not sure that getting into it with Chance's mom, then defaulting is showing
the mental toughness you've been working at, but keep your head up and don't let
yourself get distracted. Don't be your own worst enemy.
bes
p.s. Having your opponent getting a steady diet of sub-1000 coaching was
likely in your best interest. Also, having your opponent even slightly
worried/concerned about the legality of your serves has to hurt their
concentration.
Marco replies to Bes:
"Having your opponent getting a steady diet of sub-1000 coaching was likely in your best interest. "
That's a really interesting point. Here I am, all of 1750 and this kid is 2150 and THEY are worried?
Anyway, last chance to get it right tomorrow in the U-1900.
Marco
Bes encourages:
I think you'll do well - don't let yourself get derailed...
bes
Larry Bavly pundinates:
...right from the very first point of the match
they made a lot of noise especially on unforced errors but it really
didn't bother me at all
Good job! You may have this block out distractions thing
figured out.
So we had some words, and I lost my temper. I told her to go F
herself.
On second thought, maybe not. Does the mom have a high opinion of you now? No
chance, friend.
Marco summarizes:
Well, tournament is over.
Though I didn't win any trophies, this tournament may be remember by me as one of the greatest stepping stones of my TT career. For here, for the first time, I learned to play with distractions. Due to the incident of improper coaching inbetween points with Chance Friend & "Mother Bear" the day before, I was ready for anything.
I was severely tested in the U-1900 RR. I played a Chinese youngster who's coach was giving hand signals behind my back. It made no difference. I still played my game. Trouble is, I lost. But no matter. I didn't get nervous or complain. He was the C player and I was the B.
I knew that I had a chance if I could beat the A player. And that's exactly what I did. I needed to beat him 3-1 in order to advance out of a 3-way tie. And that's exactly what I did.
In the next round I had to play Gerry Chua's son Ethan. I knew it would be loud. I invited the loudness. I went right up to Ethan's sister Mariella and said "Guess what? I'm playing your brother on table 21." Sure enough she showed up with some friends to cheer loudly every point. BRING IT ON Mariella! It didn't bother me a bit. I enjoyed myself. And I would have beat that cute 9-year-old kid too except that his serves were very good. next time though, I'll be ready.
BTW, Gerry was a great sport. Gerry you didn't have to be so nice! Go ahead and cheer! I can take it now!
So as I left the table I was all smiles, because I know that one of my greatest weaknesses is gone. I feel like a man freed from a disease. Like a prisoner freed from his bondage. I'm ready for the worst and loudest that USATT has to offer!
Marco
(now, if I can just learn to read those inside out tomahawks!)
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Cheryl Friend
http://mytabletennis.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14544&PN=1
Alfie adds:
I played at a tournament in New Hampshire about a year ago the same woman was giving so much grief about a mate of mine when playing her son, she kept saying he was serving illegal and in the end he just said forget it and left the tournament. Seems she is a repeat offender not very FRIENDly
edit: could you imagine divorcing her
ttman comments:
chance is a cool kid but his mom......
thethinker thinks:
Part of the preparation for a big tournament is to be ready for every situation (the Chinese does this in practice with everything goes-bad scoring, nasty ref, camera flash, any and all distractions). Those who couldn't handle the lady and give the match away wasn't ready. A little practice and will do fine.
http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=messages&webtag=ab-tabletennis&tid=26122
owensmaster says:
I used to play Chance when he lived up here in NH and he was the most dedicated player I have ever played with. 6 hours 6 days a week coaching, robot, service with 3 tables in there basement nonstop practice and watching table tennis videos. I think his mom becomes overly aggresive because they are so serious and they want there son to be world champion so bad.
Marco says:
This is interesting. I had no idea that "Mother Bear" (that's what I call her now) is a repeat offender. I thought I was the only person who has ever had a problem with her. This is very interesting indeed...
After she pissed me off to the point where I lost my temper and sweared at her, she went running to the TD and tried to get me thrown out of the tournament. Nice lady.
Now I am wondering how many people has she messed with. Well one thing is for sure, if I ever have to play her, I mean, her son, again, I will get an umpire from the start.
Marco
owensmaster replies:
Yes she has problems with everybody...
Marco answers:
well, thank you. I thought maybe it was me. She was threatening me to file a grievance with Cindy Marcum, etc. She was friends with one of the Tournament Referees, and he put pressure on me to apologize. You should have heard her up there on the stage where the Tournament Staff are located. She said that I have a history of abusiveness. What a hypocrite! Turns out that she is the one with the history of abusiveness. What a crock.
Why do we have so many negative characters in this sport? I thought it was mostly well-educated people who play this. Sometimes I think there are nicer people in cage fighting...
Marco
psb182 adds:
a friend of mine was playing in the under 1000 at NH tourney about a year ago,the guy is such a nice guy,he traveled over 100 miles to play I guess he is only rated about 500 but was playing her son Spencer.
She was giving my friend such grief about illegal serves and went to the umpire he said forget it and left the tournament very unhappy.I saw her kid Chance and he seems a very nice kid but his mother really need some help
Marco continues:
This is unbelievable. Well at the very least it shows the power of this forum- that people can compare notes and the word can get out before this character causes any more problems.
Seriously, I feel so much better about the whole situation now. Next time (if I ever get time to play again) it will be no issue at all. I'll be ready.
M
pongiste writes:
"Why do we have so many negative characters in this sport? I
thought it was mostly well-educated people who play this. Sometimes I
think there are nicer people in cage fighting..."
Here's an excerpt from the latest installment of Tim Boggan's History - some
things never change in American table tennis...:
One, R. A. Pickens from Middletown, Ohio, who says (TTT, Sept.-Oct.,
1974, 22) he’s a “silent observer” of the t.t. scene, complains about the
“very abnormal, psychotic behavior” of many players he’s seen. Their acts
are “so vulgar, obscene, and bizarre that they would transcend the imagination
of even the most grotesque mind.” Alas, I received no vivid example to put in
my family-minded Topics. Mr. Pickens continues: ....
http://www.usatt.org/articles/history07/history07_25.shtml
heavyspin adds:
I'm a little surprised at all the negative talk on the Friends. I don't doubt that you felt bothered by Cheryl, but she's always been a positive person to me. Chance's father Todd, btw, was a very fair spectator when I played Chance. Todd supported his son, but also clapped and cheered when I made good plays - unusually good sportmanship.
owensmaster agrees:
I agree Todd (chances dad) is very modest and freindly person. Infact I dont
recall anybody not liking Todd he was actually really fun to hang around. But
there was almost always talk about Chances mother giving them attitude at the
local club but she also has a good side to her she can be freindly just like
Todd.
VarShek consoles:
Sorry for your experience. I'm fortunate not to have had a problem with Mrs Friend; she just stood on the sidelines and cheered for her son. Mr Friend and Chance were very nice.
Papilloncito explains:
Thank you for bringing up this article. The way I see it, there are more good people than bad ones, like the negative characters that you mentioned. My own son, who I have been teaching and helping him with his game since he was 11(he's 17 now) can turn into Dr.Jekyl when he plays me these days, and if I ever get an edge, net, or God forbid win a game, he has embarrassed myself and it doesn't seem to bother him one bit. I have sat with him in church on a sunday morning and we end up playing after we eat, and I don't even recognize him. He has grown up following me to the various tournaments and seeing and hearing the kind of noises a lot of the players make when they win a point, or the shaking of the fist ,etc that I don't do and I wonder when I watch tennis and for the most part, the kind of people and where they come from, for the most part except with a few notable exceptions over the years(McEnroe, Connors),the game of tennis is pretty honest, you hardly ever hear a pro stare or look down in a mean way, or try to cheat(although we are starting to hear about the betting,etc) but look at Federer how professional he is, and on the other hand picture a table tennis match with the world class chinese players,and is all these noises, look at Ma Lin, and I think we have a tendency to imitate those that are the best in whatever sport.
I don't know Chance Friend personally nor his mother,but there are two or three good comments about them from this forum,and another two or three negative so that's pretty even.I'm glad that Robert took this picture of Marco and generated all these comments,for me to learn from it specially when I play my son next time.
Papilloncito
Marcohere asks Larry:
Question: when you played Chance, were you the clear favorite to win? If there was a huge gap in rating, they may have felt they had no chance (pardon the pun) and just sat back to enjoy the match.
With me, I was 1700 and the kid was 2100, but I nearly beat him in deuce the first game. Suddenly they didn't think I was such a bundle of laughs anymore.
That's my theory, anyway.
Marco
Christhelooper notes:
Marco,
I know Chance Friend and his mother, in fact I have talked with her quite a few times at tournaments. My impression is that she is a nice lady and that her son is a great table tennis talent. I agree that she is ambitious and that may have lead in your match to a situation which was not okay. On the other hand, I have seen the same behaviour of parents of many coming "stars" in TT, and as a parent myself I can relate to this, although I do not support it. However, I do not understand that you gave up the match. After all you were the adult on the table and he is the kid. Also, that you lost 12-10 first game does not really mean anything. It happens frequently that a significantly lower rated player comes close or even wins in the first game, but in the end there is almost never a chance to win the entire game (unless of course the ratings do not reflect the actual level of the players). Also, in reality loosing 11-9 or 11-0 means in the end the same namely you loose (the only difference is that you might feel better). I am glad that there are at least some young talented players in the US which have very supportive and ambitious parents. I think that the US table tennis would do much better having a few players in the top 100 of the world. With the current US tt system this can work only by doing it yourself and for this you need these ambitious parents.
Christian
Scott empathizes:
However, I do not understand that you gave up the match. After all you were the adult on the table and he is the kid.
I can understand it - in fact I myself have given up (not finished) a match - twice in my life (over a 15-year period), due to my opponents' behavior. One of those times was against a junior. I'm not exactly a saint on the table, but there are limits - I do realize I have nothing at stake in a match, I'm never going to be great, the game is for fun and exercise, and a competitive outlet. On those rare occasions where I have faced someone for whom winning is so important that they will do anything, to the point of cheating or extremely horrendous behavior, the game stops being worth playing. When it's THAT important to someone, fine, they can have it.
I almost walked away from a doubles match when one of our opponents - a well-known strong player from NJ, started loudly cussing out his partner every time he made a mistake. It was really ugly and I didn't like being on the same court during this scene. The only reason I didn't walk away was because it would mean a loss for my own partner. That was also the only time I didn't shake an opponents' hand.
One might say that giving up a match rewards an opponent for their behavior. Perhaps, but it can occasionally be educational. I'm reminded of something that happened years ago when I was playing chess. At the time, I was about a 2100 chess player, and there was a 1300 player at the club (a friend of mine) who never resigned games, even situations like K+Q against K. People didn't want to play him, because they knew they'd have to waste time playing out clearly won endgames, when they could be starting a new game. One day I decided to "cure" him (for his own sake - he was having trouble getting people to play with him), so we played a game, and at the end when I was nearly done chasing his king down with my queen, I asked him if he was going resign (ordinarily I would never do such a thing - but read on...). He said "no, you know I never resign". So I said, "ok, *I* resign. Congratulations!" He was initially confused, but we started another game. The next time the same thing happened, and again I got way ahead and was about to checkmate him, except this time I said, "This game isn't interesting anymore - are you going to resign, or am *I* going to have to resign again?" He thought for a minute, and said "ok, I resign". From that point on, he behaved normally and people were happy to start playing him again. So sometimes, giving up a game can sometimes show an otherwise thoughtful opponent something that he/she might not have realized - that he is ruining the game for his opponent and everyone around him.
vanjr asks:
So do people throw chess pieces around like occasionally happens in table tennis (where I see paddles thrown, barriers kicked over and all kinds of atrocious behavior)?
heavyspin wonders:
How odd that resigning (quitting) in chess is good sportsmanship. Now I wonder...Is it legal to resign just 1 game in the middle of that game in a tt match, switch sides and continue the match starting 0-0 with the next game?
Scott describes:
So do people throw chess pieces around like occasionally happens in table tennis (where I see paddles thrown, barriers kicked over and all kinds of atrocious behavior)?
Well, I haven't played a serious game of chess in over 10 years, so I don't know what's going on now. Let's see, I did see someone get punched once. I've seen cheating, knocking over pieces in disgust, and minor outbursts. And once I won a rated game against a 2400 player because he went outside and smoked a joint between moves. But for the most part, chess tournaments are extremely sedate, as can be imagined. Having said that, if you think ping pong players are strange...
Scott explains:
How odd that resigning (quitting) in chess is good sportsmanship.
There's a fundamental difference between chess and table tennis in this regard. In chess, if you reach certain known endgame positions, a win is a virtual certainty... even beginners know how to proceed (they are among the first things a player learns). So not resigning such positions is a sort of insult - like you are saying that your opponent is so stupid they can't win the most rudimentary textbook endgame.
But in table tennis, just because you get ahead, the points themselves don't get any easier. So of course you fight to the very end. In fact, to give up fighting is almost a sort of insult, like you aren't bringing your all to the match.
There are exceptions in chess... for instance, the engame K+N+B vs K is a known win, but it is not easy to demonstrate. Most players will play that one out, since if you don't win within 50 moves, the game is called a draw. I once was in a losing endgame, but saw a chance to convert it to that position (still a loss, but not easy). My opponent knew it well, and won quickly, in impressive fashion. By contrast, I saw the same thing happen to a 2500 player who never bothered to study it, and he had to solve it over the board - which he did, barely - 48 moves in fact.
owensmaster points out:
This is Chance playing Slawomir the most repulsive person I have ever played
against. You can hear Todd Friend cheering Chance on in the backround when he
says "cmon bud lets go".
Chance Friend vs. Slawomir
Copyright © 2007 - Robert Trudell
U.S. Open Championships
Rating before tournament: 2086
Rating after tournament: 2120
Rating change: 34
see complete history for Friend, Chance
| Event |
Results |
Score |
Rating +/- |
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| Wins | |||||
| Men's Singles Qualification Rr |
|
10,-6,10,6,8 | 2 | ||
| Under 2200 Rr |
|
11,9,8 | 0 | ||
| Under 2200 Rr |
|
8,4,1 | 7 | ||
| Under 2400 Singles |
|
12,-7,3,7 | 4 | ||
| Under 2400 Singles |
|
11,-10,9,-8,8 | 30 | ||
| Under 2400 Singles |
|
4,8,-12,6 | 0 | ||
| Losses | |||||
| Junior Boy's Singles |
|
6,-6,7,9 | -0 | ||
| Men's Singles Qualification Rr |
|
2,10,6,7 | -0 | ||
| U-21 Men's Singles Qualification Rr |
|
1,5,9 | -1 | ||
| U-21 Men's Singles Qualification Rr |
|
4,1,1 | -0 | ||
| Under 2200 Rr |
|
7,10,11 | -6 | ||
| Under 2400 Singles |
|
-9,4,2,8 | -1 | ||
| Under 2600 Singles |
|
9,5,7 | -1 | ||
U.S. Open Championships
Rating before tournament: 1747
Rating after tournament: 1714
Rating change: -33
see complete history for Borrillo, Marco J.
| Event |
Results |
Score |
Rating +/- |
||
| Wins | |||||
| Under 1900 Rr |
|
4,7,2 | 0 | ||
| Under 1900 Rr |
|
-7,7,12,8 | 10 | ||
| Under 2050 Rr |
|
8,5,-10,9 | 1 | ||
| Losses | |||||
| Under 1900 Rr |
|
9,9,-5,3 | -10 | ||
| Under 1900 Rr |
|
5,-9,-7,2,6 | -30 | ||
| Under 2050 Rr |
|
11,10,8 | -0 | ||
| Under 2050 Rr |
|
7,-7,-10,7,3 | -4 | ||
| Under 2200 Rr |
|
-8,-6,9,9,11 | -0 | ||
| Under 2200 Rr |
|
11,9,8 | -0 | ||
U.S. Open Championships
Rating before tournament: 882
Rating after tournament: 802
Rating change: -80
see complete history for Friend, Cheryl
| Event |
Results |
Score |
Rating +/- |
||
| Wins | |||||
| Under 1000 Rr |
|
8,9,11 | 5 | ||
| Losses | |||||
| Under 1000 Rr |
|
-6,8,8,6 | -35 | ||
| Under 1000 Rr |
|
-7,10,10,-3,8 | -50 | ||
| Under 1350 Rr |
|
5,-6,5,-8,5 | -0 | ||
| Under 1350 Rr |
|
6,-9,7,-6,4 | -0 | ||
| Under 1350 Rr |
|
3,3,3 | -0 | ||
| Women's Over 40 Singles |
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7,5,7 | -0 | ||